Very unproductive month for me. Had a lot of thoughts whether i’m good enough, a lot of doubts. Even a lot of sorrows of the past, and of the future.
The biggest amount of work i’ve done is for the contract. I only did things required to stay afloat.
Other activities are entirely video games and sport. The main thing i’m still disciplined in doing - table tennis. I’m still training regularly - but this month is not a big improvement for me.
I would say this month is more of a transition to something bigger. To some new sprint in a year-long marathon. Our gamedev journey is a bit stallen due to various factors, not entirely up to me, but i still have work to do - i even have time to do a second game on the side, but i have no mental energy to do it - need some time to replenish.
Don’t know how long it takes to comeback. When i’m in the workflow, i’m able to do great things, go extremely productive. On bad days - i’m in the mood of doing nothing productive and seems like time just passes by. I think i should go easier on resting.
If i’m not productive, this means something. Maybe i don’t have to push myself. Maybe, it is a sign to put everything on hold, and go free sailing - doing things completely different, in any amounts and on any time. This is a good recharge strategy.
Discipline will backup things i’ve programmed myself to do every day, despite mood, other stuff, other extra hard work, can be replaced by something more casual, different.
The biggest thing i’ve discovered myself this month - concept of overthinking. Now i just started feeling this, when i overcomplicate, trying to push myself to do stuff no matter what.
This month i’ve made a next little step to peace and harmony.